Sarah has a crazy aunt
Who sends her lots of underpants
Why she does this, you may wonder
Mailing skivvies way off yonder?
I will not hedge or plead the fifth
To help my Sarah succeed at Smith
How in the hell you may ask and well
Can a mere pair of briefs bestow such relief?
The answer’s quite simple as you shall soon see
Aladdin had his golden lamp and Jack his magic beans
Magicians have their magic wands
And models have their wonder bras
But to Sarah Jean, my special niece
I give these enchanted super briefs
For luck, protection, and success
These panties are the very best!
Sarah Jean, Sarah Jean
The prettiest girl I’ve ever seen
She fences hard, she fences mean
Her opponents flee with a scream
And when she’s asked, “What’s the key?”
Smiles and reveals her magic bikinis
With bow in hand she plays her cello
Beautiful, brilliant, clear, and mellow
The notes astonish and amaze
The maestro showers her with praise
At the Grammy awards amid applause and chants
Her acceptance speech includes thanks to her pants
Before each exam she is quite unconventional
She puts on three pairs of her lucky unmentionables
As her brain powers up and she knows all the answers
She must cover her test from the eyes of side-glancers
For all of her classmates know Sarah’s the tops
Though really its her bottoms that pull out the stops
So you see in my madness some method may be
For Sarah’s my angel, I’d do anything for she
I send her these undies in reds and in blues
Plain or with flowers in beautiful hues
I send them for luck and I send them with love
Hoping what’s worn below brings grace from above.